Great paper, this is a powerful message. If I may suggest a tweak: avoid mentioning Bitshares this early in the paper. FIRST analyze the economic model of Bitcoin and only then, when the reader is disarmed in his bitcoin fanboism, do the same for Bitshares. The contrast can be very powerfull. Oh, and include a few more charts and equasions. The reader ususally skips them, but they convey the mathematical clout.