Great work Cass
I don't expect much to be changed, just giving my feedback...
My impression - The main part missing from all of it is the 'how', the 'what' content is also sometimes a bit unspecific.
I disagree with the full on mainstream angle but if they are going that route there should at least be a simple succinct 'how it works' page imo. The advantages of a blockchain are essentially the USP of BitShares. (I also asked a few friends what they thought and they said it was 'fine/good, a bit fluffy, fine as an intro but then needs to go into more detail.') - So the 'how it works' page could solve that.
Also most other services are provided by centralised, regulated companies and so it might be PR negative if you're seen to be advertising something similar to financial services without clearly disclosing/explaining that & how BitShares is different imo.
I would personally re-arrange the pages in this order...
1. Profitable - I would choose a different graphic, something that says profit more. I would also like to give them an idea of the interest, 'currently averaging % P.A'
2. Secure - Liked the wording, I would move the vault graphic from 'profitable' to here.
3. Low Cost - Didn't really like the wording nothing better springs to mind though.
4. Instant - Maybe specifically mention worldwide transaction times of 5-10 seconds.
5. Flexible - Fine, liked the graphic.
6. Limitless - Liked the graphic and content
Then a clear link to the 'How BitShares Works' page
The merchants list - (Cold, rainy street that's not that busy is a poor choice for main graphic imo, really bustling marketplace would be preferable.)
The rest of the content is good. I don't know if it's worth being blatantly clear somewhere, maybe under 'Your Business is your business' - 'With BitShares all your sales & income are completely private.' I would even put that at/nearer the top.
I know these things constantly change but again something specific about current transaction fees and average interest rates, perhaps updated weekly, gives people something specific to compare.