(Non)violent society and (non)violent language

[santaclause102]

The best anti-flamewar method is always the following mantra"

"Assume good will" and "Don't feed the trolls".

It's quite simple really. Nice video btw!

[bitsapphire]

The best anti-flamewar method is always the following mantra"

"Assume good will" and "Don't feed the trolls".

It's quite simple really. Nice video btw!

[santaclause102]

The problem is when your ego is a large force which causes issues such as pride etc.  When you have too much hope your expectations become too high and that causes grief.  So have no hope and no ego and you're set on the right path.

Very well said Hope yes but not relying your hope on other people...

Non-violent language of course is very general term and different people will rightfully define it differently. The guy in the video defined violent language as language containing explicit or implicit negative judgement about others.
He also said any violent language is an extreme form of saying "please". In my own words: An expression of an unmet need.
For example: "You are sooo irrational" is judging the other one and assumes that there is an appropriate amount of rationality and that the other one should stay in that range. So with this sentence someone is requesting someone else to stay in his/her range of appropriate rationality. It is violent insofar as you punish the other one with a negatively connoted word if the other one does not stay in your rationality range. You force him/her to change or you label him/her as "sooo irrational".
Another cool thing he said: If you change your perspective from judgmental to non judgmental then you can not be offended by other people's judgement. You will see them as outcries for an unmet need, nothing else.
This is just how I understood it

[gamey]

I am not sure what violent language is exactly, but a lot just comes down to how personal you take things in life.  I love to be shown I'm wrong and will gladly be "oh duh you're so right".  Nothing is better to me to be shown that I'm wrong.  People won't see it like this, but that is my philosophy.  It is all about ego and hope.  Have little hope in your fellow man and little ego in yourself, and you'll be ok.

The problem is when your ego is a large force which causes issues such as pride etc.  When you have too much hope your expectations become too high and that causes grief.  So have no hope and no ego and you're set on the right path.

[cass]

I reported on myself.

I saw that "Report to moderator" in the upper right and thought I was to report to the moderator.

My bad, so for high jacking this thread.

just have to ask .. how i can help? 

[kripeecakes]

I reported on myself.

I saw that "Report to moderator" in the upper right and thought I was to report to the moderator.

My bad, so for high jacking this thread.

[kripeecakes]

"The "tragic force" within the universe does not go unheeded by the sentient."

...how's that? .... for an explanation?

[kripeecakes]

If I have offended someone, I apologize.

Perhaps cognitive dissonance or a misunderstanding. Sounds like someone was alarmed by my writing.

[kripeecakes]

Not sure what there is to explain.

[Xeldal]

I'm a big Marshall Rosenberg fan.  It was a great insight for me as well learning the subtle differences in non-violent language/communication.  I've tried to adapt this type of thinking/speaking for myself and although difficult to implement, I'm amazed at the personal responsibility it engenders and the respect I ultimately feel I offer to others by communicating this way.  For conflict resolution, It really works and often cuts straight to the actual core issues at hand, namely, not understanding each others needs etc. 

I sound a bit like a goofball sometimes, forcing this, because Ive been programmed for so long to communicate with violence, but it really does work. 

[kripeecakes]

Many would say that "ignorance" is the culprit of violent behavior. With ignorance comes poverty. With both ignorance and poverty breeds an absence of synthesis with the goal of a peaceful "whole".

At 52, my mind reflects on the experience of "history read" and the day to day life of the "struggle to get along with ones neighbor".

When I was 20, the mind looked for the archetype model to form and build a better world.

Somewhere between 20 and 52 I became aware of "tragedy" - a consequence of human existence and the struggle for resources.

At 20, I was more frontal lobe. At 52, a longer path has been worn into the more primitive areas of the brain, and along this path is the reality of human history.

[santaclause102]

I just stumbled upon this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4LuPCAh9FCc
It is the best thing I heard for a long while. I has just been a great insight for me personally but I also think it has two implications which this forum might be interested in apart from the benefits of non violent language itself.

Often fights start of on the forum because of two things (this is just my theory, might be wrong). Because people judge others and because people interpret the statements of others beyond what can objectively be said about those statements. It then gets worse if both parties take part in this two sided process.

Also there is a great parallel between Daniel's non violent / non state vision of society (I don't know enough about it, so I would have to interpret it too much to have an opinion about it ). But what I know I can say is that the objective great. 
For me the theory underlying the video implies two things:
(1) This non violent society vision can only work if not only institutions but also minds/culture/language changes.
(2) There is a possibility to practice the non violent society everyday (on the forum, with other communities, with the media).

Just thought this (the video) had a very powerful message. I have to watch the rest myself though...