My honest opinion: I am biased on the tone of this post. Examples:
...while making everyone in the community a ton of money.
You can help by lending our community your money
Would you be willing to skip a couple of meals to help create a better world?
Clearly stating what the possibility (incl. the financial ones) are to get involved makes sense so that people know what their possibilities are but the message the above statements can convey (to me, totally subjective, maybe its a European perspective): It is about making money, not about changing the world. We want your money for our purposes. Cheesy.
Instead the money making possibility could be introduced in subtle way (not that blunt/cheesy) and the reader should make the conclusion himself that money can be made here.
yes agree making "ton of money" sounds somewhat weird for an european ear, here trying to get rich is often viewed as disrespectful motive...
how about aknowledging that different people may join community for somewhat different reasons? some put more weight on changing the world, some put more weight on making money. still, that's unlikely that most people looking for new ways to get rid of their savings to improve the world. also unlikely that those who want to get rich without sticking with any ideas and ideals have the patience and conviction to stay on.
not to forget is educational motivation and intellectual stimulation with regards to new technologies and cutting edge economics and social aspects. or some may just feel lonely off line, who knows
so, indeed, there is some mix for most of us, and everyone should be able to find the right balance, as long as they adhere to the core principles such as freedom, fairness etc... perhaps it is a matter of style how to express this for various cultures?