Its really a nice brochure!!
A few comments:
no single company controls it
-> I'd rather say: " No single entity controls it". The original is like defining x through x.
2. Not so sure about this one but
doesnt tell anyone much except the Bitcoin 2.0 crowd and introduces yet another term besides MPA and bitasset. Suggestion: "Market Pegged Assets (tokens pegged to various real world assets ; or just refer to MPAs explained on other page)"
3. It is missing that workers and delegates are elected by shareholders too. Maybe a line under the whole paragraph that says: "Witnesses, Workers and Delegates are elected by BTS Shareholders".
MPAs (or "BitAssets") are digital asset tokens that
-> "MPAs (or "BitAssets") are digital tokens like Bitcoin that"... So that the message is more clear: Bitcoin without price volatility.
on crypto-currency exchanges worldwide.
-> "on crypto-currency exchanges worldwide and on the exchange internal to the Bitshares client."
thus allows the creation of collateralized assets
-> thus allows the creation of collateralized assets (MPAs).